Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman star in an actor vehicle about two acute cancer patients, one a retired mechanic, the other a successful ventures capitalist, who meet on the same hospital ward. Between throwing up, playing cards, and sharing careful sound-bites of accrued wisdom, they soon become friends – and decide to travel the world together, ticking off all the things they'd like to do before they die: act, skydive, witness something majestic, act, kiss the most beautiful girl in the world.

Most of this didactic film evolves its teachings from the personal styles of its leads. Nicholson's character is a smooth divorcé who quips and spends discreet 'medicinal' five minutes with expensive call girls; Freeman, a would-be history professor and family man, knows that the Taj Mahal was built by "20,000 volunteers, for love," or that "to get into Egyptian heaven, your life has to have brought joy." The obvious tensions resolve themselves into a deep, mutual understanding of life– as we knew they would.

That's about it. Two actors play friendship on a film shoot; the end. As in any number of cheaper, TV movies, the characters and locations have no real grit. Even if Jimmy's uncle Bob is dying of leukemia, or Fido the poodle needs a hip operation, we need more time being convinced they fart and get bored, and don't just spontaneously 'arrive' at meaningful interactions beside mountain lakes. When Freeman's character's catheter pops, he shrugs it off and moves on to the next piece of dialogue.

The dialogue itself is the worst and best feature. Having hired two mouthy old men to 'be brilliant' with each other, The Bucket List holds on to them like a nun with a crucifix. The only time the camera isn't filming the pair together is when they fall out (for a brief five minutes), or one dies. The whole reel is inbred Holy-hero worship: you can imagine them both retiring to their trailers for croissants and blue smarties. Then again, it is Jack and Morgan. They're cancer patients. You could do worse on a Sunday afternoon. 

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